eye-opening

from this past few weeks, i've been observing myself.. as i had said before, i was confused.. confused of how i feel.. of all the things regarding to him.. and now it has finally come to an end.. i finally have answers to all the questions that i have..



i have always keep on thinking about him without any reason why.. in the middle of the class, he just pops out on my mind.. i always recall how sweet he is.. how cute that smile he has..



then when my classmates talk about the 'happenings on their lovelifes' i always keep on thinking.. "what if we're still together? will we be doing that too?" there are so many what ifs i have on my mind..



and that's then i realize that i finally understood what was happening to me.. I STILL LOVE HIM.. and yet, i was the one to blame for everything.. because of being such a coward to get hurt, i easily give him up.. im such a total looser.. at school, i appeared to be so mad at him.. [even if there's nothing to be mad for] to hide everything i feel inside.. an irrational jerk.. yeah, that's exactly what i am right now..



i guess ill just have to accept the consequences i made.. and besides, he's not the right one, isnt he?ü