starting anew

i finally made up my mind..im sure for this.. i will finally forget him even if it hurts.. it's useless to always think about him.. useless to think what could have happened if we didn't break up.. thinking about those what ifs would just make me a total jerk.. and it is just being a masochist.. [definitely not the typical me] coz i know.. he's happy now.. happy with another girl..

the pic i saw was like a slap for me to finally wake up in reality..that it's really over between us.. ive never seen him that close to a woman before.. so he might really love her.. more than he loved me.. but then, loved her or not, ive got no business with him.. im totally out of his life right now..

i will try to forget him for the betterment of myself.. afterall, that's the reason why i broke up with him.. i just love myself too much.. too much that i feel like im such a looser.. and besides, i'll still be meeting a lot of guys.. not to mention more gorgeous one.. hahaha!ü di ba ling? [pag.post biya ug comment ha.. bantay lang.. wahehe!] tom? cha? myang? wahahaha!ü especially in U.P. diba? ahaha! as if kapasar na.. wahehehe!

and so here i am, typing the very last blog i'll type about him.. from this day on, i will never ever mention his name... nor think about him... i promise...

dealing with the word bereavement

JULY 19, 2007 (THURSDAY)- it was shadow's sched for immunization with her vet...

JULY 20, 2007 (FRIDAY)- she was starting to become weak... she doesn't eat her foods and she always vomit...

JULY 21, 2007 (SATURDAY)- still no sign of happiness from her... so weak.. so lonely..

JULY 22, 2007 (SUNDAY)- still the same condition.. but this time, she already vomited blood.. T_T her doctor said it was a normal fever.. but we don't think it was normal and so we decided to take her to the hospital.. the findings were chronic poisoning.. i don't know how she got poisoned.. but the only thing i hoped for that moment is that she'll get well soon...

JULY 23-24---> shadow was under observation for 72 hours.. and all we can do is call her vet everytime to check up her status...

JULY 25, 2007-> we lost another lovable dog... again... shadow was dead at the first thing in the morning... i wasn't able to talk for a while after i heard the news... i really thought she would make it because the vet kept on telling us that she was already gaining strength...

it was like history repeating itself.. but this time, this wasn't an accident.. on december 29, 2006, we lost a dog like shadow... and the emptiness was undefinable... and now, another loss of a dog...

my classmates just laugh at me whenever they see me so lonely just for the fact that our dog was dead... they wouldn't understand.. they wouldn't understand coz they weren't on my place.. they don't know how attached i am with that dog...

i feel so lonely again...good thing rusty is still here.. i know ill get over with this emptiness just like what happened when beyonce died.. but then, another gaping hole was formed in my heart.. and whatever dog will come to us, they still wouldn't replace our two labrador dogs... BEYONCE AND SHADOW...

I WILL MISS YOU BOTH!!!! T_T

one down..

one down, eleven more to go!!!!

*sigh* our exam was over just right now.. but instead of feeling relieved, im feeling really, really, really drained right now... i can't understand myself really.. usually, when exam was over, i always asked my friends to go anywhere and celebrate... but now, i went home very early...

maybe because im too sleepy because i haven't got enought sleep this past few days? naah... i don't think so... coz if it is, then what will happen to me for the next days? hmm... maybe because there are still a lot of things to do and i don't know how to budget my time.... super hectic sched!!! aargghhh!!!!!

one, i still have to make a powerpoint presentation for our computer subject since it is our exam for this month... and this monday is the deadline.. which is also our nutrition culmination which i have to manage for the cooking contest and also need to review for our nutri-quiz....

second, i still need to finish answering my other reviewers for the UPCAT.. darn!!!! and i don't think ill be able to finish it this week.... i only have one week to review and there are still 3 more reviewers unanswered!!!! shit! how am i supposed to do that when im also busy for my school activities?!?!?!?! double shit!!!!

third, we need to practice every afternoon starting next week... the "araw" [feast day in here] would be this coming second week this august... just right after the UPCAT applications... aaarrgghh!!!!!

plus, i still need to attend my MTAP classes starting tomorrow and my Math tutorials tomorrow afternoon..... and study in advance for physics!!!!!


HHHHEEEELLLPPPPPPP!!!!!! HOW AM I GOING TO DO ALL THESE THINGS?!?!?! I NEVER ASK FOR ALL THESE TO COME!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!

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tomorrow would be july 21, 2007.... it is my day of anguish... a day of torment.... T_T why?
you'll know tomorrow.... i will be posting again....

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WHY THE HECK AM I STILL TYPING WHEN ALL I EVER DID RIGHT NOW IS COMPLAIN FOR THE BUSY SCHED? [LOL!]

topic for today:POLITICS

one of the reasons why i haven't been online for this past two weeks is because i was too busy for our election in our campus... i ran for the position of vice-president... tsk!

how did it go? we'll, let's just say that people chose the handsome one over the responsible me. ahaha! bitter much..?! lol! seriously, i lost... i really expect that i'll win... but, oh well... it's the people's choice.. there's nothing i can do about that... tehee! my dad said i was over exposed that's why the people chose the one who can focus on them more since im the president of most of the clubs. that is, at least a consolation for me. at least i can focus more on my academics. but what's freaking me out is that my rival on academics won as the president. you know how it goes. you'll always have an additional point for being the leader in school. and that really worries me... hmm... i guess all i can do is study really hard... *sigh*

it amazes me on how we really value our friendship. when we were still deciding whose people to include in our line up, there came arguments. of course, you really can't avoid it, can you? but then, even though the competition is brewing in our classroom, i could tell that we still are friends. this may sound so foolish for there really are people who want to compete and that, they backstab anyone they see. but no, i didn't see that during those times. there was even a time where one of the party wasn't really prepared for the room-to-room campaign. they hadn't made a line-up for their candidates and platforms for the students to see. but one of the running presidents (Fahad-my mommie) voluntarily helped them. and abby even commented that we were just so different from the other batch. because the other past parties were always quarrelling, arguing, and competing. unlike us who helps one another. so see? the friendship that we have is indespensable.

the way how pinoy lives reflects even in just a small community. why? uhm, going back to me as being a looser (haha!) i think im right. im not debasing at someone's capability. maybe i am just bitter right now that's why im saying this. tehee! well, im talking about the newly elected vp of our school. he's really not the leader type. in fact, most people told me that the students that voted him were just attracted to his gogeousness. (ack! si ceasar, gorgeous? ahaha!) but then, i still don't know his capabilities so i hope im wrong. [going back] this made me realize that pinoys really are fools. can you just imagine, they chose physical attributes over the one who can really manage them? tsk! tsk!

okay, im going on too far. i might offend somebody. JUST DON'T MIND THE LAST ONE. I MAY JUST BE BITTER RIGHT NOW. OKAY?!

in any way or another, im still a busy afterall. if you could just imagine my sched right now. ack! so loosing in our election is a big sigh of relief to me... hehehehe!

missing this....

*sigh* haven't been online for almost two weeks! shucks! i got very busy with the election... tsk! tsk! plus, i still got five more books to review for my upcoming UPCAT!!!!

aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! im super super super super super busy... as in! a million times super busy... i haven't got the chance to read all the books that had been stored in my room for many months... i haven't got the chance to watch harry potter and the order of the phoenix, and now, i think i'll be late in reading the last series of harry potter seven!!!!!! aargh! i just hate it being so busy... T_T

next week will be our exam and also the start of our MTAP classes... haha! as if im goo in math.. grr! but in fairness, i am a member of the Math Wizard... nyahaha! then, sooner, we'll also start our TESDA classes.. then we still have to practice for the coming parade this august as well as getting ready for the exam for the UPCAT..!!!!! then, after the parade and the exams, we'll be starting to review about journalism... we're planning to join DSPC... ahuhu!

busy.. busy.. busy... busy... huhuhu!!!!! hope i'll still have a chance to be online with this so much must-dos.....

and oh, i forgot, i still have to look for a recipe for the coming nutrition month! aargh!!!!!
HHHHEEEEELLLLPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hana yori dango- the return

finally, i got the chance to watch this japanese novela... well, it's just like meteor garden... with new faces, characters and names!!!!!!

i got curious with this one because someone told me that there's a scene there that was similar to my all-time favorite book [the scene where the guy was on the plane and the girl was outside]... though it was on part 1, i was able to see it coz it was repeated a couple of times on the part 2.. *sigh* im getting mushy over here, again.. hahaha!!!!for the casts, well, i could say that the f4 in meteor garden is a lot gorgeous than their f4... oow, they're handsome alright.. but still, no one beats them [meteor garden f4].. especially their dao ming sue [is my spelling correct? haha!] yeah, no one beats jerry yan.. Domyouji [their dao ming sue] is a cutie.. yeah, a cutie... doesn't really suit for a guy who bullies everyone at their school... unlike jerry yan who's really charming [with his really cute dimples] and yet, still has that really bad guy effect... waaaah!!!! im getting inlove again with the f4!!!! ahaha! plus, i think their Domyouji is gay.. lol!

for makino [their sanchai], well, she's prettier compared to sanchai.. tehee! true! she looks like kim chiu, but of course, a lot prettier than kim... ahahahaha!!!

that's all i can say folks.. ow, i almost forgot, i love how domyouji proposed to her! hahaha! *kilig* *kilig*