darn it!

just when i thought i was over that guy....

just when i thought i was able to know the word "love" again....

just when i thought i am finally starting to have a life...

i am, again, hurt by the feeling we called LOVE...

sometime during my sis' birthday:

rey: have you finally forgotten about your ex?

me: yeah, i guess so.

rey: what if someone will court you? will he have any hope?

me: hmm... i don't know. i guess no.

that was the time when i thought what i felt for him is just a joke. he was my friend for eight years, for crying out loud! i don't wanna ruin our friendship! and beside's i always have this principle that I WILL NEVER EVER FALL INLOVE FROM MY FRIEND'S EX-BOYFRIENDS. may it be a close friend or not.

and now, just when jason told me that he was really planning to court me, he texted me that he liked one of my friends. darn it! why do i have to say it to him the last time we talked? why can't i ever learn a lesson? why?! why?!

i never thought that i could be in this kind of situation. loving a friend. i always put it in my head that i would never ever fall for his charm coz i wanna be different. coz every girl are charmed by him. and i've been successfully doing that for the past eight years. and he's a certified playboy eversince. but why, oh why, just now?

i am so HURT. but then if he really courted me, am i really willing to take risk of our friendship? am i really ready to open my heart again? I DON'T KNOW.