dealing with the word bereavement

JULY 19, 2007 (THURSDAY)- it was shadow's sched for immunization with her vet...

JULY 20, 2007 (FRIDAY)- she was starting to become weak... she doesn't eat her foods and she always vomit...

JULY 21, 2007 (SATURDAY)- still no sign of happiness from her... so weak.. so lonely..

JULY 22, 2007 (SUNDAY)- still the same condition.. but this time, she already vomited blood.. T_T her doctor said it was a normal fever.. but we don't think it was normal and so we decided to take her to the hospital.. the findings were chronic poisoning.. i don't know how she got poisoned.. but the only thing i hoped for that moment is that she'll get well soon...

JULY 23-24---> shadow was under observation for 72 hours.. and all we can do is call her vet everytime to check up her status...

JULY 25, 2007-> we lost another lovable dog... again... shadow was dead at the first thing in the morning... i wasn't able to talk for a while after i heard the news... i really thought she would make it because the vet kept on telling us that she was already gaining strength...

it was like history repeating itself.. but this time, this wasn't an accident.. on december 29, 2006, we lost a dog like shadow... and the emptiness was undefinable... and now, another loss of a dog...

my classmates just laugh at me whenever they see me so lonely just for the fact that our dog was dead... they wouldn't understand.. they wouldn't understand coz they weren't on my place.. they don't know how attached i am with that dog...

i feel so lonely again...good thing rusty is still here.. i know ill get over with this emptiness just like what happened when beyonce died.. but then, another gaping hole was formed in my heart.. and whatever dog will come to us, they still wouldn't replace our two labrador dogs... BEYONCE AND SHADOW...

I WILL MISS YOU BOTH!!!! T_T